Be Kind
You know what amazes me .. the responsibility of someone else’s heart. I mean what keeps us from dropping it and focusing on ourselves. I know it has to do with a kind nature. Compassion. Love. Care. I know that priorities change and you can come to love people more than yourself. And I do love others more than myself. There are ones that I would give my life for, not if asked, but if a need was there I would meet it.
But what about when you choose to love someone on that next level. When someone says “.. here .. here is my heart and soul. Be kind.” Be kind.
I guess I am an evil person because there is a little piece of me that wants to know what would happen if I dropped it. If I said, no, I am here alone. You are alone. We die alone. So we should live alone. A part of me wants to know why we need this connection. This comfort. Why.
But of course I could never do this unless it didn’t matter. And in this case, it matters. In the past I cheated, but it was after someone cheated me… so my curiosity was no longer abaded.
In this case. He matters. I know my heart is safe with him. And he has no idea whether or not his heart is safe with me. All he asked was that I “be kind.”
I promised I would. But why are there some people in this world who need heartbreak to be better. I can track the changes in my life through heartbreak and disappointment. Those moments always made me stop and say to myself .. do it your damn self and get on with it. So I did. And then I find love and happiness again. But what if I stop changing and growing then. I may not know how to grow without that push from the world around me letting me down. That let down that makes me go inward and find the strength within.
What if I don’t get to find that strength again. To grow as an individual.
I know we are going to grow as a couple and as people living in a society. But what about my character and my soul .. how are they going to get fed if I just keep taking on responsibiliy of others.
I know I’m a better person in a relationship. And I love being a part of one. But I am a part of “it.” How do I be a part of “it” and continue to soul search in me.
